Dear friends, I think its about time I moved on from this blog, it's beginning to suck me back into the past, which isn't something I like doing nowadays - going backwards.
Thank you so much for being with me through my life, and I really appreciate that you are still here to read this chunk of text (:
I know I've said many things like this before in posts during my birthdays and all but really I don't know how else to put it across to you, it always permutes around the same old message:
"Thanks for being in my life (: I treasure each and everyone of you and I wish all of you would continue being in it."
I've moved and you can follow me at awxion.tumblr.com (:
because I'm to lazy to get my background picture working again.
Seeyaa dear friends! (:
And from the bottom of my heart I love you all <3
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Career
Hey Yingying, you can try these links, some are quite fun! hahah
http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/career-quiz/Results.aspx?red=011011000111001101100000
Interpreting Your Results
Your Career Planner Quiz results appear below, grouped under "Interests" and "Style." "Interests" are activities you enjoy, regardless of your skills. "Style" refers to the behaviors you use to get results. There are four possible rating categories organized by color.
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Your Quiz Results
People with Blue interests like activities that allow them to be creative. This can be through more traditional visual arts, writing or musical pursuits although not limited to these. The creativity is often expressed in thinking of new ideas or strategies that can have a broad range of applications. Blue interests often like thinking about the future and planning for long term benefits. Hobbies include: performing or listening to music, attending theater, story telling, journaling, decorative arts, painting. Career choice often are: Editor, Journalist, Teacher, Strategic Planner, Consultant, Performing Arts, Marketing, Communications, Research and Development.
People with Yellow strengths are good at managing details and creating sophisticated processes that allow them to get complex work done. Once a game plan has been put in place, it is implemented. Their decisions are based on facts and carefully reasoned. When working with other people, they are fair and democratic and always can be counted on to deliver what they commit to.
http://blogs.payscale.com/content/2007/02/overcome_your_c.html
If you're ready for a career change but haven't yet figured out how to get there, follow these tips from Harvard's Dr. Timothy Butler and life coach C.J. Liu. Before you know it, you'll be on your way to a new career.
1. Look at the issues that make you crave change and outline your goals.
What are you satisfied with about your current situation? What are you dissatisfied with? Is it your boss or the culture of your organization? Or do you really want to change careers? Outline your goals - for example, more money, more time off or more flexibility. Write it all down.
2. Work to understand your inner critic
Observe thoughts that trap you with fear and prevent you from achieving your objectives. Write these down on a piece of paper, then crumple it up and throw it away to symbolize your freedom from thoughts that interfere with your goals and dreams.
3. Recognize recurring patterns in your life
What makes you happy? What are your recurring interests and social needs? What makes a work environment feel or not so good to you? Write it down.
4. Network and investigate career interests that map to your goals and needs
Once you've identified your patterns and desires, start thinking about careers that make sense for you. Give yourself one to three months to explore your curiosity by finding people who do these jobs and talking about the pros and cons of their work. Explore anything and everything until you're satisfied - or until your time runs out.
5. Make a plan that takes your financial situation into account.
Change is never simple, but having a plan that outlines your steps and financial requirements makes it doable. Will your new career require additional education, a small business loan, time off from work or relocation? Make a plan with financial considerations and a realistic timeline and that you can follow through on.
This one isn't very accurate, but I like the way they categorize the tests, helps you describe yourself better.
http://www.ipersonic.com/career/?gclid=CKWDkt7nlKgCFcN56wodNTxTNA
other links:
http://www.suite101.com/content/how-to-choose-a-career-path-a64147
http://www.job-interview-site.com/how-to-decide-on-a-career-how-to-choose-a-career-path.html
http://blogs.payscale.com/content/2007/02/overcome_your_c.html
Overcome Your Career Change Fear: 5 Expert Tips
If you're ready for a career change but haven't yet figured out how to get there, follow these tips from Harvard's Dr. Timothy Butler and life coach C.J. Liu. Before you know it, you'll be on your way to a new career.
1. Look at the issues that make you crave change and outline your goals.
What are you satisfied with about your current situation? What are you dissatisfied with? Is it your boss or the culture of your organization? Or do you really want to change careers? Outline your goals - for example, more money, more time off or more flexibility. Write it all down.
2. Work to understand your inner critic
Observe thoughts that trap you with fear and prevent you from achieving your objectives. Write these down on a piece of paper, then crumple it up and throw it away to symbolize your freedom from thoughts that interfere with your goals and dreams.
3. Recognize recurring patterns in your life
What makes you happy? What are your recurring interests and social needs? What makes a work environment feel or not so good to you? Write it down.
4. Network and investigate career interests that map to your goals and needs
Once you've identified your patterns and desires, start thinking about careers that make sense for you. Give yourself one to three months to explore your curiosity by finding people who do these jobs and talking about the pros and cons of their work. Explore anything and everything until you're satisfied - or until your time runs out.
5. Make a plan that takes your financial situation into account.
Change is never simple, but having a plan that outlines your steps and financial requirements makes it doable. Will your new career require additional education, a small business loan, time off from work or relocation? Make a plan with financial considerations and a realistic timeline and that you can follow through on.
This one isn't very accurate, but I like the way they categorize the tests, helps you describe yourself better.
http://www.ipersonic.com/career/?gclid=CKWDkt7nlKgCFcN56wodNTxTNA
other links:
http://www.suite101.com/content/how-to-choose-a-career-path-a64147
http://www.job-interview-site.com/how-to-decide-on-a-career-how-to-choose-a-career-path.html
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
nozzle alignment check
Its 5.36am and I am studying hard (debatable) as usual. Have a final class test tmr and I'm so prepared I don't think I'd get zero.
This is like the emo time zone or something hahaha its always between 4-6 that my cognitive faculty swings into overdrive. Its like how some printers do routine nozzle cleaning and alignment checks, or how some computers auto-defrag at 2am every morning.
Some things have been bothering me for some time, that I've been trying to address, to zero success.
I wish I could possess true humility, not just outwardly but innately as a spirit. Its not natural to me, though I really want it to be. There are always these thoughts which pop up that I have to consciously struggle against to suppress every time, before they materialize as actions or words (and often I fail). I guess at the end of the day, I'm just not as amiable and transparent a person as I hoped to be.
Feels like there are so many things that I try to hide, this feeling it's one of insecurity. How come? Don't know leh. I conceal my weaknesses, to keep my image and pride, and maybe this is why I find it so hard to open up to people. One day there will be someone who will peel off these defenses and understand me inside out. I just hope she won't be disappointed with what she discovers, which would be the real deal - it definitely doesn't live up to the packaging.
I dislike the way I think. The way I perceive the things around me, its stained with a lot of negativity, still. I dislike that I think, why think so much, just live and be content as it is. Its not like I make very good decisions anyway. Why bother keeping up a prim and proper image, or why bother about it at all. The gravity of my somberness weighs me down that I cannot run and jump with retarded joy.
I wish I could be a clique person, I dislike cliques because I can't fit in them, and I kinda know the reason why, its cumulative of some of the fore-mentioned factors.
I want to be a courtyard extrovert, and not a closet introvert.
I wish I could be more easily contented with things, and not always hope that I could be doing better elsewhere in other contexts, or that things could be better, just like what I'm doing now. I wish I wouldn't worry so much and I wish I could accept things as they are. Its a mindset problem, I need a new frame that faces nicer perspectives.
I read somewhere that happiness is not a destination, if it were to be conditional, then I'd never be happy. It's an emotion, and being an emotion, it comes and it goes, it doesn't persist, and you can't fix it up as a goal either. Just be happy when you're happy, and that's happiness. I need to internalize that.
I'm one big complex, one big walking contradiction, and I hope people can see that. I wish that they would dig deep enough to discover that, past my stubborn resistance. Beyond that I wish they'd empathize and if possible help me.
It's draining to continually suppress. I desire to express and be understood, but I am my hurdle. I want to be honest, not just in blog posts.
It's not that I'm just complaining and not trying, but these problems are kinda beyond me really, so all I can do is pray about it.
Oh well.
K back to work.
P.S I not emo-ing, this called reflection (:
This is like the emo time zone or something hahaha its always between 4-6 that my cognitive faculty swings into overdrive. Its like how some printers do routine nozzle cleaning and alignment checks, or how some computers auto-defrag at 2am every morning.
Some things have been bothering me for some time, that I've been trying to address, to zero success.
I wish I could possess true humility, not just outwardly but innately as a spirit. Its not natural to me, though I really want it to be. There are always these thoughts which pop up that I have to consciously struggle against to suppress every time, before they materialize as actions or words (and often I fail). I guess at the end of the day, I'm just not as amiable and transparent a person as I hoped to be.
Feels like there are so many things that I try to hide, this feeling it's one of insecurity. How come? Don't know leh. I conceal my weaknesses, to keep my image and pride, and maybe this is why I find it so hard to open up to people. One day there will be someone who will peel off these defenses and understand me inside out. I just hope she won't be disappointed with what she discovers, which would be the real deal - it definitely doesn't live up to the packaging.
I dislike the way I think. The way I perceive the things around me, its stained with a lot of negativity, still. I dislike that I think, why think so much, just live and be content as it is. Its not like I make very good decisions anyway. Why bother keeping up a prim and proper image, or why bother about it at all. The gravity of my somberness weighs me down that I cannot run and jump with retarded joy.
I wish I could be a clique person, I dislike cliques because I can't fit in them, and I kinda know the reason why, its cumulative of some of the fore-mentioned factors.
I want to be a courtyard extrovert, and not a closet introvert.
I wish I could be more easily contented with things, and not always hope that I could be doing better elsewhere in other contexts, or that things could be better, just like what I'm doing now. I wish I wouldn't worry so much and I wish I could accept things as they are. Its a mindset problem, I need a new frame that faces nicer perspectives.
I read somewhere that happiness is not a destination, if it were to be conditional, then I'd never be happy. It's an emotion, and being an emotion, it comes and it goes, it doesn't persist, and you can't fix it up as a goal either. Just be happy when you're happy, and that's happiness. I need to internalize that.
I'm one big complex, one big walking contradiction, and I hope people can see that. I wish that they would dig deep enough to discover that, past my stubborn resistance. Beyond that I wish they'd empathize and if possible help me.
It's draining to continually suppress. I desire to express and be understood, but I am my hurdle. I want to be honest, not just in blog posts.
It's not that I'm just complaining and not trying, but these problems are kinda beyond me really, so all I can do is pray about it.
Oh well.
K back to work.
P.S I not emo-ing, this called reflection (:
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
B-day videos out! :D
HI ALL
Just received birthday videos from my friend, and I've uploaded a few YAY :D
I know I sing bad, please pardon me, I cringe too. I'd most likely be embarrassed next time when I revisit these. Doesn't hit me now, but months later I'd re-watch and go like "shit I sound like garbage, shouldn't have posted".
But, as always, I get too excited that I can't not share. So tadaa. I'd think about saving my image next time.
I'm improving at least!
I have two buddies who said I suck though, specifically "you have a long way to go" and "your voice is not good" although the latter was out of accident. Hahah but brutal honesty ftw (:
Honestly I'm quite blown away by the instrumentals, and the balance especially, its like wow, balanced. No shortage of mistakes fo'sure, but the tightness and dynamics is quite amazing. The wall of sound created is also so soothingly rich know? Not the usual noisy.
I'm probably overstating everything, but you know, its an impromptu thing. Hearing how the music unfolds as our instrumentals weave in, it feels kinda magical to me. Makes me happy (:
Maybe its my humble expectations.. HAHAH.
why you laugh.
But nah its cos I have very musical friends (:
Samuel Tham this song's for you. hahaha. I still haven't learned Look after You, but have this instead!
Bernard for you, don't sad hahah.
Lastlyy, the must-have song.
This for all you dear friends (:
Sorry for all the times where I've failed as a friend, annoyed you with my stuck-up-ness, or taken you for-granted. I'm only human ): But, would like you to know that I thank God for you, even if it doesn't seem like it (:
Just received birthday videos from my friend, and I've uploaded a few YAY :D
I know I sing bad, please pardon me, I cringe too. I'd most likely be embarrassed next time when I revisit these. Doesn't hit me now, but months later I'd re-watch and go like "shit I sound like garbage, shouldn't have posted".
But, as always, I get too excited that I can't not share. So tadaa. I'd think about saving my image next time.
I'm improving at least!
I have two buddies who said I suck though, specifically "you have a long way to go" and "your voice is not good" although the latter was out of accident. Hahah but brutal honesty ftw (:
Honestly I'm quite blown away by the instrumentals, and the balance especially, its like wow, balanced. No shortage of mistakes fo'sure, but the tightness and dynamics is quite amazing. The wall of sound created is also so soothingly rich know? Not the usual noisy.
I'm probably overstating everything, but you know, its an impromptu thing. Hearing how the music unfolds as our instrumentals weave in, it feels kinda magical to me. Makes me happy (:
Maybe its my humble expectations.. HAHAH.
why you laugh.
But nah its cos I have very musical friends (:
Samuel Tham this song's for you. hahaha. I still haven't learned Look after You, but have this instead!
Bernard for you, don't sad hahah.
Lastlyy, the must-have song.
This for all you dear friends (:
Sorry for all the times where I've failed as a friend, annoyed you with my stuck-up-ness, or taken you for-granted. I'm only human ): But, would like you to know that I thank God for you, even if it doesn't seem like it (:
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
If we hold on together
Oh man, the days of childhood, they are so far away ):
When have I ever stopped to reminisce about my childhood? Not in the past 10 years at least.
Don't lose your way, with each passing day.
You've come so far, don't throw it away.
Live believing, dreams are for weaving.
Wonders are waiting to start.
Live your story, faith hope and glory.
Hold to the truth in your heart.
I used to love dinosaurs very much hahaha, and I drew up drawing them. Not buildings.
Red was my favorite colour. Now I don't really have a favorite colour.
On a lighter note, seems like my wallpaper's been affected by the Earthquake. It was linked from a Japanese site.
Monday, March 21, 2011
HI
"The most heartbreaking part of a breakup is that moment when you realize that all the dreams you had, all those visions you had being with this person disappears. Everything after that moment is moving on."
- Taylor Swift
Never been through one, but I guess its still relate-able with my pseudo-incidences, hahah. But break-ups probably hurt 10x more. Not keen to experience one.
its 6am and I realized I haven't updated this page in like forever. And I'm still doing my archi work no sleep as usual. Sorry for the lack of updates dear friends! Lazy to type long posts.
I've been tweeting though it's more on-the-fly-ish hahah you could follow my daily epiphanies at www.twitter.com/nauxx.
To update you, life is... Well I don't know. Its too assorted an experience for me to pin down in a nutshell haha. Good I guess.
There has been a girl (I know you're not surprised, TSK), but to no end as usual. Open-ended rather, continuation possible, just not now. Don't ask haha it's complicated. Really.
I think God doesn't think I'm ready for relationships or something, possibly because he wants me to focus and get my church priorities right first, which I am starting to sort out. But I trust He has a very pleasant surprise in store somewhere right. Whoever you are, you must be somewhere in this world, I just pray that you be blessed with health, sleep (for good complexion), and Godly wisdom.
Actually I'd also like to pray that you love your parents, learn to play some instruments, learn to sing well, maybe grade 5 ballet, and maybe leave long hair before I meet you.
Before you judge me for being superficial and picky, I'm just kidding of course. hahaha.
Actually no maybe I'm not. I can pray for anything right. But seriously, dear wife to be, please be kept chaste. In every aspect.
My birthday just passed last week, and it was splendid (: I'm blessed with really wonderful friends.
So, I'm 23 now. I feel it. Societal pressures and responsibilities are eagerly edging in, looming over the gate of 26. It's not here yet but 3 years will be fast. After that, I need to get employed, work 3-4 years before I be financially stable enough for marriage. And to get married I need to date at least 3 years first so that means ideally I should get attached at 26 to get married at 30.
I told a friend and she says "gosh you guys really like to plan things out". Really? I thought girls should tend to worry more.
Honestly, there are only two things in life that stress me out, 1) career and 2) marriage. I just feel that they are the two essential things I need in life, besides God and family of course. And it bugs me much because I have none of them now. I really dislike the feeling of not being in control, some complex I have. Sometimes I don't understand myself, how come academics and exams don't bug me at all, when they ultimately affect (1). Or rather how come I find it so hard to entrust these two areas to God.
I've been exploring song writing recently, wrote two songs (: I will start uploading videos onto youtube soon I guess. As in like after exams.
Obviously, I am getting incoherently gibberish, so I will end here. And my work is nowhere near complete.
So. Good night friend (: Nice to have you around. You are very very much appreciated.
Just saying!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Shit
Life is a mess, and my mind is everywhere it shouldn't be.
Dear God please help me to focus and prioritize please, I am dying/going to die like this.
Dear God please help me to focus and prioritize please, I am dying/going to die like this.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Life's short, live your dreams
Hahaha stumbled upon these, damn cute. The second one's a little sad, you can go look up the original version from this youtube link, its normal-er in the sense that it has normal sound effects and not sad music. Nevermind I'd just link it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs&NR=1
"Are you willing to die for your dreams"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
OMG
I just found out I was a Dean's lister holy crap how come I don't even know.
I don't believe it but what the shit that's some good news thank God (:
I just happened to see it under the student participation and awards record. The issue date is June 2010 but I believe it's more like an end of year update for Sem 1 and not Sem 2 cos my Sem 2 was quite flunk max hahah. I have no idea how this works man, but it's sure nice to see it there yay.
Anyway its been some time mate, thanks if you're still here much appreciated. Looks like I've been overrun by spam taggers hmmm.
So, I'm still in architecture, and the dreaded design module is over. It's study time HOW I MISS STUDYING. I've never realized the joys of studying until I was in HC. I think I've said this before, but thanks again Bernard! Anyhows I don't really get to study much nowadays, its sad. Berns I will continue drawing the sperm warz story after exams.
Recently did a video assignment on NTU's chinese heritage center, damn fun it was, gave me a chance to catch up with NBS friends. Actually... I could have been there but wtf screw you thoughts. It was so fun that I submitted the assignment 4 days past deadline cos I wanted to make it a good one, for my ex-ntu relatives, ntu cousins, brother, and ntu friends. PS try this at your own risk, I asked my tutor for permission first of course, plus we're quite buddy and I am group rep ahaha. I'd probably put it on youtube soon for you guys.
Started jamming again, its gonna be high season soon I hope. Anddd preparing an item for birthday bash already, I'm going to make sure it's wickeder this time hahaha. Oh I'm helping out with Huiwen's hall band! Hooray the more the merrier, and every band I play for is obliged to play for my birthday, its a contract thing, albeit unwritten unspoken.
Need to start exercising some too, must stay competitive in the single's market. Oh do keep the friend suggestions coming too please.
Plans plans plans. I need an overseas escape this dec holidays, and I'd like to get back dancing after the exams. Will sign up for ACCA part-time course too, but next year since I've missed the Aug intake. Considering CFA too but don't know need to do more research. Yes the workload in archi is fucked up but I don't find it fulfilling enough. I need something more to push myself, no harm mate. There are 2 possible outcomes that could come out of this: either I excel and manage everything well or I wake up my idea. It's cool.
I want an ear-stud, what say you?
Aight that's about all that I can think off now, let me leave you with snippets of what we actually do in architecture. Most of the time, I find myself loving the outcomes and products, but the process is just disgusting shit hate it.
I'm feeling quite delirious now so I'd say this today and think about the repercussions tomorrow: I actually like you but I was afraid you'd be on a rebound (hell I don't even know how it works) so I stayed away. Didn't know if it was mutual or not, and no balls to take the risk. And then I didn't follow up and things changed, other guys show up, and now it seems the gulf's a little too deep to bridge. What happens next? Don't knowww. JUST SAYIN. I'd probably delete this when I'm sober and thinking.
(edit: no need to delete. no implications)
So CIAO. All the best for the upcoming papers and cheers to the awesome holidays that come after yeah tc God bless.
Oh one last thing that's been bothering me:
Should I buy Starcraft 2 or Call of Duty Black Ops omg omg omg.
I don't believe it but what the shit that's some good news thank God (:
I just happened to see it under the student participation and awards record. The issue date is June 2010 but I believe it's more like an end of year update for Sem 1 and not Sem 2 cos my Sem 2 was quite flunk max hahah. I have no idea how this works man, but it's sure nice to see it there yay.
Anyway its been some time mate, thanks if you're still here much appreciated. Looks like I've been overrun by spam taggers hmmm.
So, I'm still in architecture, and the dreaded design module is over. It's study time HOW I MISS STUDYING. I've never realized the joys of studying until I was in HC. I think I've said this before, but thanks again Bernard! Anyhows I don't really get to study much nowadays, its sad. Berns I will continue drawing the sperm warz story after exams.
Recently did a video assignment on NTU's chinese heritage center, damn fun it was, gave me a chance to catch up with NBS friends. Actually... I could have been there but wtf screw you thoughts. It was so fun that I submitted the assignment 4 days past deadline cos I wanted to make it a good one, for my ex-ntu relatives, ntu cousins, brother, and ntu friends. PS try this at your own risk, I asked my tutor for permission first of course, plus we're quite buddy and I am group rep ahaha. I'd probably put it on youtube soon for you guys.
Started jamming again, its gonna be high season soon I hope. Anddd preparing an item for birthday bash already, I'm going to make sure it's wickeder this time hahaha. Oh I'm helping out with Huiwen's hall band! Hooray the more the merrier, and every band I play for is obliged to play for my birthday, its a contract thing, albeit unwritten unspoken.
Need to start exercising some too, must stay competitive in the single's market. Oh do keep the friend suggestions coming too please.
Plans plans plans. I need an overseas escape this dec holidays, and I'd like to get back dancing after the exams. Will sign up for ACCA part-time course too, but next year since I've missed the Aug intake. Considering CFA too but don't know need to do more research. Yes the workload in archi is fucked up but I don't find it fulfilling enough. I need something more to push myself, no harm mate. There are 2 possible outcomes that could come out of this: either I excel and manage everything well or I wake up my idea. It's cool.
I want an ear-stud, what say you?
Aight that's about all that I can think off now, let me leave you with snippets of what we actually do in architecture. Most of the time, I find myself loving the outcomes and products, but the process is just disgusting shit hate it.
I'm feeling quite delirious now so I'd say this today and think about the repercussions tomorrow: I actually like you but I was afraid you'd be on a rebound (hell I don't even know how it works) so I stayed away. Didn't know if it was mutual or not, and no balls to take the risk. And then I didn't follow up and things changed, other guys show up, and now it seems the gulf's a little too deep to bridge. What happens next? Don't knowww. JUST SAYIN. I'd probably delete this when I'm sober and thinking.
(edit: no need to delete. no implications)
So CIAO. All the best for the upcoming papers and cheers to the awesome holidays that come after yeah tc God bless.
Oh one last thing that's been bothering me:
Should I buy Starcraft 2 or Call of Duty Black Ops omg omg omg.
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